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Welcome to my Darkened Asylum
Good is a point of view
Recent Entries 
9th-Nov-2005 11:03 pm - Why Wait?
Sepheroth, Sephiroth
Mother of god why won't they just fucking release Advent Children already? What is taking so long?!? It isn't even that hard! IT'S ALREADY FINISHED! I don't know what it is with the Japanese and releasing shit. You want this new Zelda??? NOOOOPE! You want the new Final Fantasy? NAHHH! How's about a new Final Fantasy movie featuring the sweetest villain of all time next to Darth Vader? Nope, we are going to karate chop stuff instead. That's bullshit! Karate chop shit AFTER YOU FINISH THAT SHIT MOTHER BASTARDS!! Anyway. One week until the new Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire movie will be out, so that will be tits. Yes that's right...HARRY POTTER IS THE SHIT. Another movie I have been waiting for. I hope he does something really sweet and unexpected in this one, like call Hermione a dirty little tramp or give Hagrid a knee to the groin. Man, come to think of it, Hagrid probably has some massive nuts. If Harry kicked him in the junk, he might just break his leg. He should teach that little whiny bitch Malfoy a lesson and rape him in the butt. Malfoy would have a hard time explaining a tree trunk shaped whole in his ass when he came home that night. Well, one can only hope. Wasn't in the book. But hollywood adds it's own little perks sometimes...
9th-Nov-2005 10:25 pm - a turn of events...
Sepheroth, Sephiroth
Well, I guess things are finally starting to look up for once. My Red Wings are unstoppable, got some things to look forward, my back hasn't been terrible lately, and I got to play some hockey. I guess the single life isn't so bad after all. The new job is getting pretty cool, with everyone staring to warm up to my humor. I guess I don't need to depend on a girl for happiness.
9th-Nov-2005 10:09 pm - Advent One Winged Angel
Sepheroth, Sephiroth
Noli manere,
Manere memoria.
Sephiroth
Saevam iram
Iram et dolorem
Sephiroth
Ferum terribile
Ferum fatum
Veni, mi fili.
Veni, mi fili.
Hic veni, da mihi
Mortem iterum.
Noli manere memoria.
Saevam iram et dolorem.
Ferum terribile fatum.
Ille iterum veniet.
Mi fili, veni,
Veni, veni, mi fili
Qui mortem invitavit,
Poena funesta natus,
Noli nomen vocare.
Ille iterum veniet.
Sephiroth
Sephiroth.
7th-Nov-2005 06:48 pm - One Winged Angel
Sepheroth, Sephiroth
Estuans interius ira vehementi, Estuans interius ira vehementi, Sephiroth, Sephiroth.
Estuans interius ira vehementi, Estuans interius ira vehementi, Sephiroth, Sephiroth.
Sors immanis, Et inanis, Sors immanis, Et inanis,
Estuans interius ira vehementi, Estuans interius ira vehementi, Sephiroth, Sephiroth.
Veni, veni, venias, Ne me mori facias,
Veni, veni, venias, Ne me mori facias,
Veni, veni, venias, Ne me mori facias,
Veni, veni, venias, Ne me mori facias,
Gloriosa, Generosa,
Gloriosa, Generosa,
Gloriosa, Generosa,
Gloriosa, Generosa,
Sephiroth, Sephiroth
~SEPHIROTH~
11th-Oct-2005 04:32 pm - So I am home...
Sepheroth, Sephiroth
I don't feel any better. Am I supposed to? When will the hurting stop?
26th-Sep-2005 06:08 pm - I don't know...
Sepheroth, Sephiroth
Another day of uncertainty. I'm getting sick and tired of not being able to talk about anything. It's the same old shit everyday. I'm just not gonna talk about anything to her anymore. I never get any answers, and when I ask questions, she just gets frustrated. Our relationship is falling apart slowly. She doesn't want the same things that I do anymore. I wanted to propose. I wanted to live together and start our life together by getting a good job and moving to a place that we both like. Maybe get another pet, or even start talking about kids. She wants nothing to do with that anymore. Now it is all about her independence. Wanting to live by herself (ya right), wanting to be free of me. She doesn't even want me over her new place that much. How in the fuck can you have a relationship and not see each other. this will soon be coming to a close. Looks like I better start moving on. I can't waste my time with someone who doesn't know what the fuck she wants anymore. All of this happened so sudden too. Everything was going fine. Now she wants to go out and party with her friend, wants to hang out all the time with her, and doesn't want to be with me anymore. Fine. Guess I just have to adapt again. I changed my life for her. Guess I'll change it back.
24th-Sep-2005 01:18 am - I need to get this out...
Sepheroth, Sephiroth
Okay, this is bullshit...I am gonna type this out cause I need to get this out. I was told by my girlfriend that I can talk about this with her, but every time I try to, She gets annoyed...

So I got home from school a few nights ago after a long ass day, and my girlfriend says she needs to talk to me. So I sit down on the couch with her and I see right away in her eyes that she is about to deliver a painful blow. So preparing for the worst I ask "what is it?". She tells me that our lease for the apartment we live in is up in October, and when we move out, she wants to live on her own. Without me. Without her boyfriend that she has lived with and loved for the past 2 and a half years, not to mention that we have been dating for over 4 years. This isn't even the fucking bullshit part. So first she tells me that it's not me, she just wants to live on her own for a while, to see if she can make it on her own, to have her own freedom, and to live on her own independence before she settles down and marries me. She needs this in order to see if the life with me is the right life for her. So she wants to get an apartment by herself. Live on her own.
I asked her straight forward right away if she was gonna get a roommate because that would defeat the fucking purpose of living alone. So she told me she doesn't want to, but if she can't afford it, she would have to. Ya, whatever. Cutting through the fucking bullshit, this means that she doesn't wanna live with me and she wants to party with her new fuckin friend Jessy now. This is exactly what I thought as soon as she told me that. Low and behold, 2 days later, her and Jessy are getting an apartment together. I guess the independent thing is out the fucking window. What she really meant by independence is, she needs independence from me. No more annoying guy living with her, cleaning up after her, being there for her when she has had a bad day, and all the other boyfriend shit that i've wasted my god damn time doing.
So now, whats to happen with me? I am forced to go back and live by myself at my parents, without anyone. So basically I can go fuck myself. For the first time in a long time, I cried. I am so sad that this girl, after 4 years of loving her, and being with her, doesn't know if she wants to be with me.
The first 3 years we were together, I was almost bugged on a daily basis about getting her an engagement ring so we could get married and have babies and start a life together. I had to drop everything and move in with her, and I did, because I love her. I love this woman more than anything in the whole world.
Now I am lost. I don't know what to do anymore. Suddenly my life is flipped upside down. I got a new job which I thought was gonna be great, but turned out to be murder on my back, making my herniated disc worse. The company found out about my back problems and decided that I was a liability to the company, So they had to let me go. I have no job, I have to move back to my parents house, and I feel like I am alone.
She says she still wants to be with me, but every time I want to talk about us, she gets irritated and we get no where. What if she lives without me and decides that she is better off without me? What if the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with doesn't have the same feelings about me anymore?

So now we are getting ready to move, I have no job still, i'm doing well in school, but I have no self esteem anymore, and it's hard to get motivated to do anything anymore. I am overwhelmed with sadness. What happens when she has her own place with her friend? Will I be allowed over to see her all the time? Or will she be busy? Will I stay the night at all, or will that be intruding? It is gonna be awkward. Our relationship will surely change. And what if she meets someone else, cause I know she is gonna be out partying with her friend. One mistake is all it takes, and thats it for us. I don't want to lose her and I hope she realizes how much she means to me. I have never loved anyone as I love her, and if she decides that she doesn't want to be with me anymore, I am gonna die inside. I asked her if she would still move out on her own even if we broke up, even if our relationship depended on it. She said I shouldn't give her an ultimatum and if I did she would still do it. So our relationship doesn't mean what it once did to her.

I'm losing hope, and i'm trying to prepare myself for the worst. But still, I love Nancy so much it hurts. I love everything about her. I love her family, and I was so comfortable with everything about us.

But now everything is different, and i'm uncertain of the future...

it hurts...so bad.
24th-Sep-2005 12:53 am - Top 10 Bands at the Moment...
Sepheroth, Sephiroth
Here is a current list of my top ten favorite Metal bands of all time and the current album that I am most impressed with...

1.Soilwork - A Predator's Portrait
2.In Flames - Clayman
3.Dimmu Borgir - Death Cult Armageddon
4.Hypocrisy - The Arrival
5.Arch Enemy - Doomsday Machine
6.Darkane - Layers of Lies
7.Sonata Arctica - Winterheart's Guild
8.Kalmah - Swampsong
9.Children of Bodom - Hate Crew Deathroll
10.Norther - Mirror of Madness

These are subject to change as time goes on and more bands pump out some killer albums that alter my tastes. As of now though, these are the fucking sweetest albums out. If you don't have them, get them!
24th-Sep-2005 12:26 am - Metal for a New Day...
Sepheroth, Sephiroth
This is the new journal. Haven't done this thing in a while so I thought it was about time to get it going again. I have a ton of things to write about and I need to get some of it out.

First off, a lot of new albums came out recently, including Children of Bodom's "Are you dead yet?" which I have listened to about three times already and I really cannot get enough. Every Cd Bodom pumps out is fucking amazing. Alexi never disappoints, and continues to prove that finnish people fucking rock at more than just drinking and hockey. Another new one is Hypocrisy's "Virus" album which I have only listened to half of it, but from what I've heard so far, it is a fast and hard hitting metal album not to be underestimated. I love Hypocrisy. Their last 5 albums are so fucking good that I would have to put them on my top 10 list of favorite bands of all time, (Which by the way I will do in a future entry). The first couple tracks on Virus are fucking crazy good. I plan to listen to that album a lot more. Last but certainly not least is Arch Enemy's new album entitled "Doomsday Machine". This Album is so fucking heavy and melodic at the same time, the first time I heard the track Nemesis, I nearly shit myself. The power Vocals and heavy riffs make that whole album a fucking-kick-your-ass metal cd that will definitely pump adrenaline through your veins. I just don't understand how a cute little blonde girl like Angela Gassow (lead singer of Arch enemy) can unleash bloody hellish growls and screams better than any metal singer to date. She is so dreamy! Other great new albums include Opeth's "Ghost Reveries", Fear Factory's "Transgression", and Graveworm's "(N)utopia". All of which I would recommend for any die hard metal fan.
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